The Irreverent Widow

Enjoy my “Dating” stories & videos!

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Post on: February 11th, 2011

Valentine’s Day is not for sissies.

Day of love? Or satanic plot?

These are the days that try men’s souls.  And women’s.

I speak not of our nation’s economic woes, nor of the mountains of snow threatening to collapse our roofs. No, ladies and gentlemen, I speak of the days leading up to Valentine’s Day.

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Post on: November 2nd, 2010

Zero degrees of separation.


The great (and disturbingly incestuous) state of Maine.


Most of us are familiar with the concept known as “six degrees of separation.” It’s the idea that all humans are within six steps of connectivity. That whole friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend thing.

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Post on: August 23rd, 2010

Cleaning house.

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I LOVE this card.

The fact that I have it taped to one of the glass panes of my kitchen door goes a long way in explaining why my house was not chosen for the celebrated “Cape Elizabeth Kitchen Tour” which will be taking place in a few short weeks.

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Post on: June 7th, 2010

The “Date-Us-Hate-Us.”

"Kiss me baby?"  I think not!

A few months ago,  I realized how much of my life force was being sucked out of me by dating the wrong men.  And, sometimes, dating the SAME wrong men more than once!  Shocking, I know, in light of my “Wash, Rinse, Repeat” dating story… but yes, dear reader, even I make errors in judgment.  This realization led me to go on a “Dating Hiatus”….something I’ve done before, but have never really done wholeheartedly…and for the right reasons. Before, I’d say something like, “I should really stop dating and concentrate on my work and my children.”  Of course, after 3 weeks of no dinners out (and, even more distressing, no kissing and/or sex)…I would always cave.   Probably because I didn’t REALLY mean it when I said I should stop dating. In reality, I still had my heart set on finding the right man. Finding someone to fill the void left when I lost Drew. I still felt that the rest of my life wouldn’t make sense without that puzzle piece being replaced.

Read more on The “Date-Us-Hate-Us.”…

Post on: April 11th, 2010

WANTED: Soul mate…with throw-up bowl.

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There are two sounds that can simultaneously awaken me from a deep sleep…and strike fear into my heart.  The first is the sound of a gargantuan pine tree falling onto my house (see my “Oh Tannenbaum” blog post from the end of February).  The second is the sound of a child. Vomiting. IN MY BED.

Read more on WANTED: Soul mate…with throw-up bowl….

Post on: March 11th, 2010

Love, Marriage. Horse, Carriage.

I love you...but only on Tuesdays.

(I may have written this story a few years ago…but it continues to ring true, dear readers!)

After being involved in a variety of dating situations with a variety of men…and after experiencing a variety of levels of frustration…I eventually realized something that was rather disturbing.  And very, very sad.  Many men have been married…many men have ended up divorced…yet, many of these men have never really been in love. They got married, but they weren’t head-over-heels, madly and passionately in love.  Never.  Not even on their wedding day.  This was shocking to me.  Truly.  I suppose I just always imagined that all people felt the way that Drew and I felt about one another when we tied the proverbial knot.

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Post on: December 26th, 2009

God Save the Queen.

God Save the Queen!

Happy December 26th. It’s Saturday. The day after Christmas.  Boxing Day, if you are a Britophile. Although, sadly, I recently learned that Boxing Day is apparently moved to Monday if the 26th falls on a weekend.  A pity…but we shall still pretend it’s today, for the sake of  this posting.

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Post on: May 15th, 2009

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Oh sure...it LOOKS harmless!

DEAREST (and most patient) READER:

It has been a busy month for me.  The world of widowhood, dating and single parenting has, as usual, caused me to lose track of time. A month since my last posting? Goodness! But all has not been for naught…as I have come back rejuvenated and filled to the brim with deep thoughts and brilliantly helpful tips!

Read more on Wash, Rinse, Repeat….

Post on: April 7th, 2009

Younger men pay less for life insurance.

Just say NO!

I am widowed.  Which is why I am here (see my blog title). I am also dating. Which is why I am on sites like Match.com.  Today, I was talking with a fellow (that sounds wrong) widow. We were talking about men. About dating them, mostly.  She was feeling odd about the prospect of dating someone younger than herself. I could not immediately even grasp what she was saying. I mean, I myself have never experienced that “odd” feeling in relation to dating younger men. What other kind of men are there??  Older ones, I guess.  And what exactly is the draw…?  Maturity?  Some brand of “fatherly-ness?”  I suppose that’s attractive to some women. I don’t know. What? You throw his E.D. issues in the bucket with the fact that your breasts aren’t as perky as they once were, stir…and everyone feels equal? I just don’t see it.  I mean, when I was in college and fell head-over-heels for my late husband, I thought it was kind of sweet that he was 1.5 years my senior. One and a half years seemed perfect.  But let’s get real, my friends… I was 19 when we started dating in earnest.  He was 20…and a HALF. What’s the big difference?  There is none.  Men are a bit less mature than women at that age…so it all balances out nicely. He could have been ten years older than me and it still would have seemed perfectly perfect.  WHEN I WAS 19.

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Post on: March 23rd, 2009

Seasonal Affect Dating Disorder.

sad-face

Known to many of us winter daters as:  S.A.D.D.


So, here I am.  Spring.  A new season. A new beginning.  As a widow, it also often makes me a bit melancholy.  I remember the first spring after Drew died. Six springs ago…but it feels like far fewer.  I saw the daffodils peeking up through the soil, and it hit me all at once and without warning:  ”It’s spring.  And he’s not here.”  ”How could he not be here?” I thought, as tears trickled down my cheeks.  Well, that’s a different topic, for a different day.  Today’s topic is a bit lighter.  I want to talk about men. Seasonal men, in particular.  And disorders.

Read more on Seasonal Affect Dating Disorder….